Household concerns

Last Saturday was one of the worst days. It didn’t went well as we discussed about issues here in the house most especially the house chores. Ace knew that I’ve been pissed about this for so long. I have my online job but I am not going out so it seems to him I have all the time to do the house chores here. I’ve been bringing out issues that he won’t dare to make decision to resolve it because this is not our own place. That’s the reason why I wanted to have our place, even just a little house we can rent for the meantime and his answer to that thought, “you can leave if you want”. Okay, will blog more so that I could earn more and I’d be able to rent a place for me and my sister.

Since this is not our place and we are only staying with his parents for free, we need to do the house chores. I don’t mind doing the house chores as long as everybody does their share. So I obliged Che2x to wash the dishes and do other things because we are staying here for free. I am guilty about this. If Mamang is only alive, she will not experience being awake late at night to wash the dishes, need to go home early because she will cook for dinner when I can’t because I am at work.

Now Ace discreetly said I should cook for him and is expecting not to see me in front of the PC when he gets home. I was then reminded by my friends saying “their husbands only get married to have a house help”. True as it is. Wifey role is like a house help but wives has to delegate some chores to other members of the household, not hers alone. That is what I wanted to happen here. When Ace arrives from work, he only eat and rest. No more, no less. Hence I have to take care of the laundry and others while Che2x has to wash dishes, feed the dogs and cat while we take turns in cleaning the house and cooking. I hope Ace will realize that I am serious about my concern. If not, I can live as if I’m the only one in here. Which means, I can be deaf-mute here.

My obligation being the eldest

I’ve been sending my sister to college since the start of the school year. Last school year, I and my other sister, Carol has been paying for her tuition fee while Daddy sends money for her allowance from the pension he has been receiving. This year, Daddy said he will not send for the meantime because he’ll use his pension to finance the farm as he wanted to plant fruit trees. Since Carol and her family transferred to the province, I was left with Che together with the full responsibility of paying her tuition fee and giving her her daily allowance. Filipino culture, you know. The eldest should be responsible for her siblings.

To be able to send my sister to school, I worked in OHJ and did blogging. If only without her, I don’t need to work. It’s unfair for Ace if I’ll ask money from him to support my sister so I need to sacrifice. Gosh, when will this end? Ever since I worked 5 years ago, seems I’ve been obliged to help my sisters. Lately I realized, I’ve been working for so long and yet I haven’t invested on something. That made me realize I am tired but I don’t have a choice. Daddy is not sending money, Carol just sent once. Ace has been telling me to inform Daddy and Carol that I will not support Che2x 100% so that I could also have my share in my earnings but  I don’t have the guts to text them. I just hope they will realize they also have an obligation, not mine alone.

This has become a big issue between me and Ace. I’m already married and should be thinking for our own now. But I just can’t let Che2x stopped going to school because I did not supported her financially. Anyway it’s her last year in college. As I told her, she should graduate on March by hook or by crook. If not, I will not send her to school anymore.

It made me think how Mamang sacrificed to send us to school barely receiving enough for our consumption in a month. Now its my turn to give back that sacrifice of sending my sister to school and I hope I can manage to do it until she graduates.

I’m Back!

I have started this blog in January, had a few posts and then abandoned it. My other blogs kept me busy that I forgot about this. I was thinking of deleting this blog because I have no plans of updating it. I already have 2 self-hosted personal blogs and a photoblog and it’s kinda hard to update it. Anyway, I thought of visiting this blog early this morning and was surprised to see its alexa traffic rank. It’s far better than my Life’s Lessons and Kerslyn’s Comfort Zone. How come? I really don’t know. I had a hard time understanding the figures in Alexa. What I know is that the lower the figures, the higher the ranking. That’s it. This blog has 23,000++ traffic rank while my other blogs has more than a million. Now I changed my mind. I’ll still be keeping this blog but will think of the theme of the posts so that I won’t get out of topic drain my brain cells to think of what I will write in this blog.

25 days to go

Twenty five days to go before our 1st wedding anniversary. As mentioned in my other blogs, I am planning to have an overnight stay in a resort in Samal Island particularly in Chemas by the Sea. I tried contacting the resort and they only have one closed cottage. So I need to book early. But when I texted Ace about spending the night in the resort on the 25th, he replied “I have work on that day”. I’m quite disappointed. So he has no plan of taking a day off from work so that we could spend our special day together. Hence, I did not make a reservation for the cottage. I am expecting the day to be just an ordinary day.

My husband is not a romantic person. He is thoughtful but no passion for giving surprises on special occassions or just even initiating something for a special day. Just imagine we were on a relationship when I was 21 and until I turned 29, I haven’t received anything from him on my birthday or in other special occassions. That makes my envy others who’s partners makes their own to give something special on a special day. Instead, he gives something on ordinary days but not a surprise though because I’m with him when he buys the thing. Just imagine, I received flowers from him only twice since we were boyfie-girlfie…1st during my graduation and the 2nd when he met a flower vendor in the street. The 3rd was during my birthday where I asked him to buy roses for me.

During the first few years of our relationship, I used to cry over this concern. But that doesn’t changed Ace’ perspective so I forced myself to accept the fact that I should not expect something from him during special occassions becouse I’d only be disappointed waiting for nothing. Hence, I should condition myself that our 1st wedding anniversary will be just like any ordinary day.