Ready for the shoot?

This year’s Kadayawan is a lot different. I am not just an spectator now but I am a documenter (is that the right word?). Since we have our Canon EOS 400D, I will shoot and document the activities that will transpire for the week-long celebration. Hence, I need to be ready. I mean my photography gear and accessories should be ready. The Hoya 55mm Pro1 Digital Circular Polarizer I purchased in eBay was just in time for the shoot. Ace was so generous to buy extra battery pack for the shoot. Replacement batteries are out of stock so we don’t have a choice but to get the original. We also bought another compact flash memory card since our 1gb is not enough for a whole day shoot as it can only store 200+ large photos in JPEG format. Our Tamrac 6x Velocity bag we bought earlier was also intended for the Kadayawan shoot as I will go alone. Hubby cannot tag along so I need a bag that fits for me and my built. Anyway, I hope to get many good shots as I am not used to shot people. I am honed in landscapes. So wish me luck!

Who Else But Me

For days, I am not in my best mood for my sister. I get mad at her so easily maybe because I don’t have anybody to pour out my desperations. I felt so tired of working to the expense of my health because I cannot eat on time. I am working for the sake that I can give her allowance everyday and pay for her tuition. It has been the case since the start of the classes. Ace gets mad everytime I talk about it because he doesn’t want me to shoulder everything. He wanted me to contact Carol and Daddy but I wouldn’t. If nobody will support Che2x, who else should do it but me? I already instructed Che2x to ask for her allowance from Daddy and the tuition fee will be shared between me and Carol. Daddy seemed to be so confident that I can take care of all my sister’s financial needs. How about mine? Should I work and wait until she graduates and that’s the time I can think of my self? If only I haven’t seen Mamang sacrificed that much for me to earn a degree, I don’t think I would also sacrifice for my sister. I hope she will really graduate by the end of the school year so that I could rest from my responsibility of sending her to school.   

Household concerns

Last Saturday was one of the worst days. It didn’t went well as we discussed about issues here in the house most especially the house chores. Ace knew that I’ve been pissed about this for so long. I have my online job but I am not going out so it seems to him I have all the time to do the house chores here. I’ve been bringing out issues that he won’t dare to make decision to resolve it because this is not our own place. That’s the reason why I wanted to have our place, even just a little house we can rent for the meantime and his answer to that thought, “you can leave if you want”. Okay, will blog more so that I could earn more and I’d be able to rent a place for me and my sister.

Since this is not our place and we are only staying with his parents for free, we need to do the house chores. I don’t mind doing the house chores as long as everybody does their share. So I obliged Che2x to wash the dishes and do other things because we are staying here for free. I am guilty about this. If Mamang is only alive, she will not experience being awake late at night to wash the dishes, need to go home early because she will cook for dinner when I can’t because I am at work.

Now Ace discreetly said I should cook for him and is expecting not to see me in front of the PC when he gets home. I was then reminded by my friends saying “their husbands only get married to have a house help”. True as it is. Wifey role is like a house help but wives has to delegate some chores to other members of the household, not hers alone. That is what I wanted to happen here. When Ace arrives from work, he only eat and rest. No more, no less. Hence I have to take care of the laundry and others while Che2x has to wash dishes, feed the dogs and cat while we take turns in cleaning the house and cooking. I hope Ace will realize that I am serious about my concern. If not, I can live as if I’m the only one in here. Which means, I can be deaf-mute here.

My obligation being the eldest

I’ve been sending my sister to college since the start of the school year. Last school year, I and my other sister, Carol has been paying for her tuition fee while Daddy sends money for her allowance from the pension he has been receiving. This year, Daddy said he will not send for the meantime because he’ll use his pension to finance the farm as he wanted to plant fruit trees. Since Carol and her family transferred to the province, I was left with Che together with the full responsibility of paying her tuition fee and giving her her daily allowance. Filipino culture, you know. The eldest should be responsible for her siblings.

To be able to send my sister to school, I worked in OHJ and did blogging. If only without her, I don’t need to work. It’s unfair for Ace if I’ll ask money from him to support my sister so I need to sacrifice. Gosh, when will this end? Ever since I worked 5 years ago, seems I’ve been obliged to help my sisters. Lately I realized, I’ve been working for so long and yet I haven’t invested on something. That made me realize I am tired but I don’t have a choice. Daddy is not sending money, Carol just sent once. Ace has been telling me to inform Daddy and Carol that I will not support Che2x 100% so that I could also have my share in my earnings but  I don’t have the guts to text them. I just hope they will realize they also have an obligation, not mine alone.

This has become a big issue between me and Ace. I’m already married and should be thinking for our own now. But I just can’t let Che2x stopped going to school because I did not supported her financially. Anyway it’s her last year in college. As I told her, she should graduate on March by hook or by crook. If not, I will not send her to school anymore.

It made me think how Mamang sacrificed to send us to school barely receiving enough for our consumption in a month. Now its my turn to give back that sacrifice of sending my sister to school and I hope I can manage to do it until she graduates.

I’m Back!

I have started this blog in January, had a few posts and then abandoned it. My other blogs kept me busy that I forgot about this. I was thinking of deleting this blog because I have no plans of updating it. I already have 2 self-hosted personal blogs and a photoblog and it’s kinda hard to update it. Anyway, I thought of visiting this blog early this morning and was surprised to see its alexa traffic rank. It’s far better than my Life’s Lessons and Kerslyn’s Comfort Zone. How come? I really don’t know. I had a hard time understanding the figures in Alexa. What I know is that the lower the figures, the higher the ranking. That’s it. This blog has 23,000++ traffic rank while my other blogs has more than a million. Now I changed my mind. I’ll still be keeping this blog but will think of the theme of the posts so that I won’t get out of topic drain my brain cells to think of what I will write in this blog.